Enjoying the journey is a unique experience for everyone. I work with lots of women who want lasting change to happen overnight (it can but it might look different than you thought) and so to help you understand how I help my clients, I create models around this stuff because it’s so important to visualize what this really looks like.
What does it really look like to enjoy the journey as a FitMama? I’m going to go through that with you because it’s really about wrapping your head around understanding what it really means.
These days it’s as easy as typing into Google to find an exercise program you can do. At FitMama though, we start with Innercise before Exercise. That’s the inner work, the inner stuff that forms the foundation of your strong physical body. The mind-body connection, the internal stuff that needs to go on before you can get into that groove and just get on with it. When we have a baby we think we are just going to get on with it. Six weeks are going to pass and our doctor’s going to say go for it and we will go along as if nothing changed.
That’s not exactly how it happens and I am here to tell you the truth of that.
I am here to tell you that because it is about enjoying the journey and each of the little phases that you go through in your journey of life do, in fact, matter.
Each of those phases you go through postpartum when you have just had your baby are important for healing and rehabilitation and those little phases need you to be present, excited, happy and joyful understanding that this is just a phase. The inner work needs to get done before the outer work can happen. The same goes with working your deep inner core as we always talk about. Then the external can get stronger and function properly around that core foundation.
And then the outer work will be a better reflection of who you are (and how strong you are) when you do the inner work first. The external stuff of exercising and eating healthy are very important. I talk about those things in terms of vitality, long term health, mental health, longevity and more. They are all very important BUT the key thing is how you approach them. It’s how you approach the day to day stuff that you are going through as a wife, mother, business owner, employee, sister, daughter, friend and all these roles that we play as women. If we don’t do that inner work and make sure that it’s working with us rather than against us, we can notice that the outside becomes a reflection of the inside. When you lay that groundwork, that foundation of you as a person, then all those other things just fall into place. It happens naturally.
Know that exercise is important and will be a part of your life if that’s what you choose, but the innercise, that’s the good stuff. Regardless of your circumstances, inner work keeps you grounded. It’s about the internal environment of ourselves that we can control. We can’t always control others or what is going on around us. What we can control is our reactions to them. We can’t always control the stressors, but we can completely control how they affect us.
The key thing here is about enjoying your journey as a Fitmama, and that starts with the inner work. Exercise is everywhere. It’s about the inner work, doing that so you can lay the foundations of yourself down strong and grounded with that inner peace.
This is what I want for you, to enjoy your life now. Not at some future point when the kids grow up or when you lose 20 pounds, but now.
One of the things I wanted to direct you to is the science behind this. I love to talk about literature and research, not just my own opinions. You know I have them! For me, its about the opinions that I share with you that are grounded in research, that really go back to understanding how we work as humans.
One guy I really love to follow online is Simon Sinek. He’s known well for a TED talk he did all about your WHY. He claims that we know what we do, we know how we do it, for the most part, but we don’t always know WHY we do it. He encourages you to really explore this idea behind your WHY. I really like that. This serves as a solid anchor point or strong foundation that will keep you going when times feel tough.
When it comes to really enjoying this experience as a mom there are three vital points that I want to share with you.
1.) Expectations – It’s about maximizing your expectations yourself. It’s not about following in someone else’s footsteps or doing what someone else always told you you were good at. It’s about your expectations of yourself and maximizing those. Truly believing in yourself and knowing that you an have anything you want. It’s about having these expectations that you maximize and knowing that if anyone can do it, you can do it. That’s a personal choice. If you are pregnant, you can do this by practising affirmations everyday like “I am strong, I know I can handle what is coming my way” and saying it over and over, even if you don’t totally believe yet. You can say it to yourself until you believe it.
2.) Managing Your Obligations – As moms we have all these obligations to others and ourselves everyday that we need to attend to. Whether it’s to our kids or our boss, or house keeping or maintenance or financial expectations or whatever it is. We feel the need to DO all the time. This is about managing those obligations so that you feel in control. These things can become a slippery slope unless you are doing the inner work where you are managing these obligations so you are clear on what you want. So you can be clear on why you do all the things you do and not take care of yourself. There is so much research in the area of the WHY where you can get grounded. When you get clear on this you can get grounded, not be a people pleaser and set up those boundaries, and limitations so that you can still nurture yourself.
3.) Intentions – We all have intentions as it why we are doing things. We probably had intentions when we embarked on motherhood as to why we are having a family. We set intentions prior to doing things. We always have an opportunity to stop, pause and set an intention about how we want things to go, so we aren’t living in this place of reactivity because that can end up being a very stressful situation. If we are proactive and thinking about our intentions, we can maintain those things. If the idea we thought was good continues to be good, we can maintain it. If it turns out it wasn’t so much, we can evolve it. Intentions may shift over time, but when we can maintain motivation and inspiration we will feel like doing the things we said we will do. This helps with that integrity where you can maintain those obligations over time.
So we have our expectations, our obligations and our intentions. Those are three areas we really want to focus on.
What that allows us to do is harmonize these things in a way that makes them work for our life, at this time, in this specific phase of our lives. Not forever. Things that work today may not even work tomorrow but we want to be present and proactive rather than reactive where everyone else’s low expectations of us, or our own for that matter, drives where we are going.
This is when we forget about our intentions and things get crazy.
That ends up being that place of break down. We don’t want that to happen to you. We want you to build on a stronger foundation and FLOURISH. This allows you to truly live, enjoying live and shining your light.
When we get stressed out and overwhelmed that light starts to dim and we get into our reactive place.
More on this topic on our next blog!
See you online FitMama!