Today I am talking about maximizing your expectations. Dreaming big. Expecting that if anyone can do it, it can be you. This begins with the idea of an open mind. Imagine what could be if anything were possible, because it truly is possible for you, obviously within reason of physics and the laws of the world. Generally though, anything is possible for you.
This idea of maximizing your expectations really begins with opening your mind. I always talk about this concept of having a growth mindset. There is research out there by Carol Dweck, who talks about a fixed mindset vs a growth mindset. The differences are stark in the way that these two mindsets perform in the world. The ones that are fixed are very fixed and they (people) don’t see things changing a lot from where they are at, and they don’t really move forward much in terms of their goals and dreams. Whereas those with a growth mindset are open to growth and possibility. They are open to imagination, knowing that things are not always what they seem to be and they realize things are not static, but forever and constantly changing.
The research is brilliant and this idea of a growth mindset in all areas of our lives serves as a good one. Are you open to having a growth mindset in relation to these things? When it comes to doing homework with your kids, are you saying “Oh, I always sucked at math.” or are you saying “This is grade two math, I’ve got this.” Maximizing your expectations of yourself, knowing that if you read it through, you will figure it out. Expecting the maximum from yourself.
This comes from three things.
1.) Integrity – Very vital. Doing what you say you will do. A lot time we have these great ideas and then we don’t follow through. The follow through is really key, because that allows you reinforce the idea that you can do it.
2.) Idealize – but be realistic. Idealize what my dream scenario for this situation could be. When you have the integrity piece, so that you are being realistic, and you really look deeply into a situation to see what’s truly possible with a sense of curiosity and wonderment. For me, an example was when I was having kids. When I was pregnant, I found people loved to be negative about it, and tell me that for them, it sucked, it was uncomfortable, they recommended I make sure I have drugs available etc., etc. I was really grateful for their input, but I felt the need to connect to my curiosity, wonderment and idealizing, how could it be for me? Could I really write a different story than the one everyone was telling me? Could it really be a more positive experience? Could my mindset affect the pain and discomfort in a more adaptive way? What would that be like realistically?
3.) Implementation – Integrity is whether or not you are going to do it and being real about it. Do you have the skills or could I learn them? Being idealistic by asking what could happen, and then implementing those ideas. Repeating over and over the things that are going to get you there. For me, when I was pregnant and I wanted a pain free, calm birth, I was just really open to the possibility of this. Visualizing it in my mind as if it already happened. It wasn’t just hoping though. I did the work though, everyday. I did affirmations, and tapping which is Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) where you tap on the energy meridians in your body to help you realign some of your thought patterns that need clearing/changing. I talked positively about things to others and remained unphased if they wanted to lament about their experience. I didn’t let it penetrate my belief that their experience in no way affected mine. I learned all I could and hired a doula who could help me in the moments I wasn’t going to be thinking clearly for myself. I trusted my intuition and visualized what I wanted the experience to be like. Implementation is about repeating the work, even when all odds are against you and doing it over and over to create the outcome that you desire.
Have you wanted to changed things or outcomes in your life and found these to be important aspects? What do you find helps you face tough situations with a growth mindset?
See you online FitMama!!